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Bending Reality: Manifesting the Reality You Want

bending reality career coaching contraction expansion law of attraction Jun 03, 2022

I’ve been wrestling with something mightily ever since I’ve been a life coach. 


I’m a fairly practical person, well educated in rational disciplines. I have an MBA, for heaven’s sake. 


Yet, I’ve always had a strong curiosity for esoteric concepts, particularly what you might call the metaphysical. I think of these things as phenomena that defy our present-day scientific understanding. Magic, you might say. 


I want to talk about these topics, and sometimes I do, but still, I’m a bit reluctant to really own my views. I’m afraid people will discount me and think me unserious.


What is Magic?

But here’s the thing: every technological advancement always seems like magic when we don’t have the appropriate frame from which to understand it. Take a time traveler from the early 1800s. Think of how their mind would be blown by all the “magic” in our society: radios, telephones, microwaves, cars, the internet, computers. And what about our medical technology and knowledge: bacteria and viruses, x-rays, and vaccines.

So much of the metaphysical is not understood yet from a scientific paradigm. In many cases, however, that understanding is being developed. Many of these researchers may stand outside of mainstream science, but still they are making profound discoveries (using the scientific method) that would require our current understandings to expand. I won’t cite all this work here, but I’ll list some places you can go to check it out at the bottom of this article. 


As I gain life experience, my personal belief in many unseen dynamics is expanding for one reason: personal experience. I have experienced, time and time again, what seems to be the effects of consciousness on the material world. Results in my life have convinced me that concepts like the Law of Attraction have merit and deserve exploration.


Bending Reality

So imagine my delight when I came across the book, Bending Reality, written by Harvard and Yale-trained investor Victoria Song. Song is a coach to billionaire entrepreneurs and was named to Forbes 30 Under 30. Song has an unflinching attitude toward the metaphysical. She often refers to it simply as “supernatural abilities.” 

Clearly, Song didn’t learn how to tap into supernatural abilities at Harvard or Yale. Instead, she credits studying with dozens of coaches, shamans, and spiritual masters. Ultimately, Song embraces the metaphysical for the same reasons that I do: her personal experiences.


I know I keep referring to my personal experiences… I don’t want to go into them here other than to tell you that I’ve manifested homes, jobs, fascinating traveling companions, and assorted weird phenomena. If you’d like, you can check out one of my stories here.


Atheists Welcome

It was so refreshing to have Victoria Song normalize “supernatural abilities.” She coaches her clients on how to tap into these skills but apparently does not talk about any of this in an explicit manner. As she says, “My clients, most of whom self-identify as atheist, agnostic, or nihilist, have been able to get the same seemingly supernatural results. It doesn’t matter if you think this works because you believe in God, the matrix, quantum physics, Rehoboam, or think we’re in a simulation. It will work for you just as it works for me and my clients, some of whom ponder the model of reality we’re in, and others who just want results.” (Did she bring up Rehoboam* because of Westworld? I just fell in love with her more.)


Tapping Into Your Supernatural Abilities

OK, let’s blast past my long preamble to the good part. How do you tap into these supernatural abilities to create amazing things in your life?


Song boils it down to two factors. 1) Stay out of contraction. 2) Get yourself into expansion.


Stay Out of Contraction

Contraction is a fear-based, scarcity thinking sort of neighborhood. But it’s not just avoiding negative thinking. It’s about becoming aware of, and avoiding, activities that emanate out of fear and scarcity thinking. So many of the things that are promoted in our culture fall into this box: trying to figure things out, hustling, trying to make things happen, overworking.


Get Into Expansion

Expansion has to do with a trust in the universe, a knowingness that things will work out. It is creative and free. It has to do with love and abundance, gratitude and appreciation. Expansion can look like patience and faith, embracing serendipity, and coming from inspiration. We are sure that things will work out, but we’re not particularly attached to the outcome. We expect “this or something better” to emerge and it does.


The tricky thing about contraction is that it’s what most of us have been steeped in. Song offers several unlearnings to help us understand how to move out of contraction. Here are some examples:


The Unlearnings

1. Striving Equals Contraction

When we strive to be something besides what we are, we’re in contraction. The antidote is to embrace ourselves fully. For myself, I’m doing this by reclaiming the word “weird.” I’ve always felt that I was weird. I didn’t fit into neat expectations, often didn’t follow the crowd, and sought to do my own thing. For so long, I felt sort of bad about this, like there was something wrong with me. Now I’m seeing that actually, I was allowing myself to be uniquely me. I’m calling it, “Full Court Weird.”


2. Allow Your Emotions

“You cannot selectively numb “negative” emotions and feel only “positive” emotions.” If you seek to numb negative emotions, you will suppress all emotions. Your world will become colorless. The antidote is to allow all emotions. Be present with them, welcome them. Emotions are only destructive when we avoid or resist them or when we act them out. Don’t be scared of your emotions. Thank them for the intelligence they are delivering, hold them lightly, and let them naturally release.  


3. You can’t manifest from contraction. 

The book has many more subtleties, but this is the key takeaway. Song describes how she worked with this concept with her client, George Ruan who would go on to sell Honey, a company he founded, to PayPal for $4B. “Week to week, we excavated all his old ways of being, beliefs, and perceptions as they showed up in the challenges he brought to each call. Every week we updated his operating system, upgraded his lens on reality, and expanded his consciousness.”


How to Expand

Beyond the unlearnings, there are eight more, Song offers a number of codes to adopt to learn to bend reality. She also offers dozens of suggestions for expansion. Here are some of the ones I’ve used to manifest results in my life.


Gratitude: Song recommends doing this daily, but somewhere I read that a study suggests daily is suboptimal. Instead of doing gratitude every day, I rotate through a palette of possibilities. (Forgiveness, for example, or Abraham-Hicks' Book of Positive Aspects). 


Values: Find a list of values online and select the five that you want to hold for yourself. Define each of those values in your own words. Then, ask yourself regularly if you are living your values.


Here’s how I defined one of my values, Contribution: 



My pathway to enlightenment (remembering) calls on me to use the gifts that I have been bestowed for a purpose beyond myself, to serve the enrichment of others.

I am here to make a contribution to the unfolding of human consciousness. 


My sense of spirit and connection uplift me, reminding me that I am an integral part of a larger whole. I participate in nurturing, sustaining, and growing this whole. I contribute to the greater whole by embarking on my soul mission and devoting myself to the Divine Mother.


I am a perfect expression of the divine, purposefully placed here to express my uniqueness


Move Energy: Do yoga, go for a walk, do tai chi, stretch, and dance in the middle of the day. This can be a reward for completing a difficult task. This morning, for example, I found myself on the phone with Xfinity. It ended in frustration, the problem still not resolved. Rather than suppressing my irritation and just moving on, I gave myself a moment to feel the frustration. Then, I got up and decided to go to the mail room to pick up a package; I knew the walk would provide the change in environment I needed.


Positive Self Talk: I recently read Louise Hay’s classic You Can Heal Your Life. She recommends saying, “I approve of myself,” 300 times a day! When I get in just six repetitions, I find it transformative.


Give: Love this one. Once, I wasn’t paying attention at the tollgate and needed to cut into a lane at the last minute. A kind driver let me. At the gate, I asked the toll keeper if I could pay the guy’s toll. He let me do it. The other driver honked and waved at me. You would have thought I gave him $100, not 40 cents. Apparently, this made his day. Mine too.


Music: Many years ago I realized that listening to one of my favorite bands, The Cure, is actually a major bummer. I now consume them only in careful doses. I’ve actually created several playlists around mood, with names like “Caffeine,” “Inspiring,” and “Calm.”


Basking: This one I made up. Basically, you spend three to five minutes in active visualization (I like to listen to uplifting music). The main point is to feel in the present how you think you’ll feel when you’ve manifested what you want. See a more detailed description here.


*Rehoboam: In the TV show Westworld, Rehoboam is a quantum computer and super AI that analyzes, predicts, and attempts to manipulate human behavior across the world.



Lynne McTaggart, The Quest for the Secret Force of the Universe.

Bruce Lipton, The Biology of Belief

Joe Dispenza, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself

Gregg Braden, The Divine Matrix


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